The Exhibitionist

When you work the kiosk at any registration desk you meet what I kindly refer to as "all sorts". This is a story about one of those sorts....

I was working at a check in desk at a very large trade show. We were registering professionals, performers and exhibitors for the event. By the morning of the second day the politeness that comes with responding to the 100th question regarding the location of the bathrooms, bus stop and free passes was starting to wear off - I along with my fellow coworkers were in need of a major break in the routine and man, were we about to get one.

You know those people who you see approaching you and even before they open their mouths, you just know it's going to be memorable? Just when I was starting to go crosseyed staring at the beige ceiling tiles I was brought back to reality by a young Paris Hilton wanna be asking "excuse me, do you have my pass?" Holding back the urge to wrap one hand around her neck and jamming the other down her throat to pull the gum that is being mutilated in her mouth, I politely responded "what type of pass are you looking for?"
Her response "I dunno, someone told me that a pass would be here for me at the door, I'm supposed to be working". Working at what, I wondered but replied
"what is your name? perhaps there is an envelope for you?" knowing full well there was no envelope as we did not hold passes at the door. She gave me her name and I pretended to look - as suspected there was nothing.
"I'm sorry" I said "there isn't anything for you. Do you know what you are working at here today?"
She replied "I have no idea I was just told to be here" I could tell she was getting agitated as she started to roll her eyes and flick her hair like nobody's business.
"Well I'm sorry" I said "there is no pass for you here and you don't know where you are working so I'm not sure I can help you." If looks could kill I would be writing this from the grave.
"I SAID I'm supposed to be working here!" she said
"And I said I'm very sorry but there are no passes here for you - what is your role at the trade show? Are you a performer?"
"No"
"Are you a sales person?"
"NO!"
"Are you a professional?"
And finally she remembered.......... "I'm an EXHIBITIONIST". Wow. Try keeping a straight face with that one.
"Do you mean an Exhibitor?" I asked while silently chanting my cat died, my cat died, my cat died to keep from laughing in her face.
"That's what I said - an Exhibitionist!"

Right. "Well here is your pass" as I calmy passed her the badge . "Have a great day." She snatched the pass out of my hand and stormed off into the show where I'm sure she told her employer she was there to work as and exhibitionist.

Karma is such a bitch.