Paparazzi

I'm not a star gazer. I don't hang around hotels during film festivals or near locker rooms after games. I'll admit that if Oprah approached me on the street and asked me for fashion advice, I would not ignore her (I am not only a great event planner but am also very polite) but generally with the exception of a sale on Manolo Blahnik shoes, I am rarely star struck.
I am starting to think I should change my habits though because if I did then maybe I could have avoided the mortifying incident I'm about to describe.......

I was working at a charity event at the door greeting guests and asking for donations for raffle tickets and most importantly tickets to enter a draw to win an autographed jersey by a famous athlete. This story would not have the same effect did I not mention the name on the jersey....in the interest of staying anonymous let's say it was signed by Doug Gretzky.

So the event was moving along nicely, I was looking fabulous, the drinks were flowing and no-one was saying no to me at the door to purchase tickets (in my previous life I swear I was in sales). Any-hoo, so I'm having a great time and am feeling pretty good when I see a "I would say yes if he asked me out" guy walk thru the door. I should explain I rate most guys on whether or not I would go out with them if they asked (keeps the trolls at bay) and this guy was definitely on the yes side so I was certain when I worked my charm he would buy an armload of tickets...who could say no to me right? or so I thought...
"Hi there, welcome to the event" I said with my best phone-sex-operator voice.
"Hi - glad to be here" he replied with less enthusiasm. Ok, he was going to play hardball, no problem.....as I tugged down on my v-neck sweater.
"I have some tickets here to win an autographed jersey, how many would you like?" Insert Julia Roberts smile....
"Um, no thanks" he replied with a sly grin.
Ok, game on....
"Really? Not even one? its for the kids and you could win this amazing jersey autographed by Doug Gretzky himself. That is priceless"
"No thank you, I'm good" he replied and tried to walk around me (rude! but I was not going down without a fight)
"You don't want to buy a ticket from me? It's only a few dollars - the prize is fabulous" I tried once again.
"I'm really good, thanks anyways"
"how about 2 for 1?"
"Not interested"
"You buy it, I win it?"
"nope"
"Ok then" and I let him go finally.

I couldn't believe how rude this recent member of my I-would-never-date-you-even-if-he-was-the-only-man-left-on-earth-other-then-peewee herman guy. How could he not give to the kids, forget the kids...how could he say no to ME?? I was about to explain these exact thoughts to my fellow volunteers who had been watching the whole incident go down when I was cut off:
"Event Planner Extraordinaire?" (there is that name again! :)
"yes" I replied.
"do you have any idea who that guy was you were just harassing?" The group of volunteers asked.
"besides a rude son-of-a-motherless-goat? nope"
"that WAS Doug Gretzky"
Oh my.
"you were just trying to sell him a ticket to win his own shirt!"

Well that explains it! My ego was somewhat bruised but I have to admit although I was embarrassed I was happy that it wasn't a case of bad breath or not enough cleavage that lost me the sale.

Event Planner Truth: Sex sells, unless you are trying to sell autographed jerseys.